'If we win, boss, we're in the play offs. Heck, we might even win the league!'
Gmswjambo turned on his heel to face his assistant, Mbawza Ritchie. He was in his office, blessed with a a view over the magnificent 8000-capacity all-standing cesspit that was, given the number of heid-bangers in the support, aptly named the Psychotic Symphony Arena.
'What the smeg are you on about, Ritchie?' he scowled, fixing his assistant with a stare dripping with derision.
'Erm, honestly boss, with that win over Adora and Monsters beating Good Fellas 5-4, we're two clear in second and one point off the pace.'
Gmswjambo slid gingerly into his seat, as if any sudden movement would see him toppling to the floor. Ritchie assumed this was because the gaffer was deep in thought. In actual fact, there was a clear and present danger that the chair would break - the back support remaining in place by the proverbial ball-hair after the manager had hurled it against the wall in the wake of the round ten defeat at home to Good Fellas.
'5-4 you say... Are you sure it wasn't a cup game?'
Ritchie repressed a sigh. Had his boss not seen the results from the previous afternoon? 'Straight-up, boss,' he said, '2-1 at the break and 5-4 at full-time. Apparently the defences were all over the shop and the strikers, Sjöqvist and Sarvestani in particular, ran riot.'
'So what are you saying, Ritchie?' asked the gaffer, getting to his feet and prowling around the desk. 'We beat Never Back Down at ours next week and we've actually got a chance of going up? Even winning the division?'
'That's it, exactly,' confirmed the assistant. Did his boss really have to repeat things back to him in order to understand?
'Excellent. What's the plan, then?'
'Well, I was, uh, hoping you'd tell me that, boss.' Ritchie stammered.
'What?!' exclaimed the manager, placing a hand on a club-embossed paperweight that his assistant feared was about to be lobbed in the general direction of his napper. 'You know how this game works, Ritchie,' the manager went on, 'you give me your best three ideas for our team selection and tactics, then it's up to me to choose which one we go with. Understood?'
'Got it, boss,' muttered Ritchie. It was approaching five o'clock in the afternoon, otherwise known as beer o'clock; he knew that one of them would be pub bound, and it wasn't him.
'Right, I'll be at L'Abri-Côtier if you need me,' the manager gave a half-hearted wave as he strode out the door.
Mbawza Ritchie sighed as he got to his feet. Never Back Down FC had everything to play for, as they currently trailed SoA by just two and would be guaranteed a playoff spot if they could get the better of Gmswjambo's side on the final day. Evenly balanced on paper, NBD had won the season's opening encounter by a goal to nil back on February the first.
Mbawza Ritchie got to his feet and made to head to his own office, deep in the bowels of the Psychotic Symphony Arena. Could he stumble upon the right strategy to reverse that scoreline in next week's showdown? It would do just fine if he could.
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