For some time, the world seemed like a dark place. Once upon a time people were happy and had purpose in their lives, but then, ocs18 left the Golden League and happiness turned to depression.
People had to depend upon Duckford’s lame jokes for entertainment. They had to compete in a league where the true whipping boys had been removed. They even had to learn to become heterosexual, as the one everyone loved, had left their lives.
Well, in the small hours of 26th April 2015, that all changed, as the worst manager the league has ever seen returned to the Golden League. Forever. Some could say he came in through the back door, but that would be more in line with some of the other managers approach to managing. Miraculously, a new era has begun in the GL - The Return of ocs18.
The press had been sitting in the changing rooms of The Damned United, forced to endure excited messages announcing ocs18 was due to return. They rushed towards Buckinghamshire and sat on the edge of their seats, waiting for the low-life to re-emerge. And then suddenly, it happened. Dirtier than ever, the worst manager in the world walked into the room and sat down in front of an audience who were literally wetting themselves with excitement. Questions then came from left, right and centre, but this is the most accurate series of events reported:
Q: "ocs18, you say you're the Worst manager ever?"
A: "Indeed"
Q: "This is so amazing, just to see you again, let alone seeing you managing a team again - what made you come back?"
A: "It's true, I am that bad. I was flicking through a newspaper recently and saw a press statement issued by some muppet asking managers to try and be more entertaining. I just thought, I don't even have to try, and I was the worst manager in the league before I left - so why not make a comeback? A few finer details were finalised, such as reinstating me as the Golden League Spokesman, but this seemed like the best time to return"
Q: "How do you manage to be so good looking AND so intelligent?"
A: "I think you've been listening to too many D-red, i mean One_Of_Shanks speeches - you shouldn't really be calling other men good looking, even if it is completely true. As for the intelligence factor, it's one of those things that just comes naturally to me, along with my numerous other qualities, which include humility, brilliance, magnificence, splendidness and above all else, an ability to manage at the lowest level - my level."
Q. "How do you rate your team? Do you think you can take them any further?"
A: "My team is could be a LOT worse, but they're on form, which means anything can happen. We've got a few games left, so lets see what surprises we can pull off."
Q: "You've not said much about the competition in your division?"
A: "There is no competition in my division, well, maybe apart from fc cycy but time will tell.”
Stunned by the wisdom that had just smacked them in the face, the reporters remained seated for two hours after the conference has ended.
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