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Press releases from Xpert League

2020-09-27 15:39
Sons of Apollo
Division 1a
Manager: Gmswjambo

The Weekly Jambo XXXVI / Cunnus
Gmswjambo's secretary Mrs Trellis was mightily impressed the other day when she received a photograph taken of some Glasgow graffitti. She shared the image on her blog stating, "Little wonder Glasgow has on multiple accasions been praised and acclaimed as a city of Culture. Even the graffiti artists speak Latin!" The graffiti in question, daubed in black on a white billboard in Partick, reads thus, 'Boris Johnson purrus cunnus est'  

Gmswjambo's team news is as follows:

Sons of Apollo: The fourth away match of the league season once again saw the Sons earn a point from their travels. Matchstick Men may have been bottom of the table going into the game but to be fair they have a good squad and gaffer, so it was definitely a point earned. Home matches must be taken advantage of though, as 6 points from 5 is not the kind of average that would see Gmswjambo's side maintain their status in the second tier. 
Atlético Burnistoun AFC: The friendlies are doing their job of getting form up, though Gmswjambo has not yet added to the squad after the sales of Walker and Byrne. They didn't fetch as much as hoped either. So far the only addition is Valois to midfield, prompting fans to speculate that the gaffer will await the start of next season - and the sale (hopefully) of McPherson or Weir - before investing.   

Faith No More: Two draws this week from away games - Portugal The Man and The Hawklords. With few players bridging the gap between youths and veterans, and little cash to invest, Gmswjambo is concerned for the short-term future. Should he sell the oldsters while he still can, keeping just one or two on? Perhaps see how things are mid-season, then decide.

Havre AC: Regis Bookworms came to Stade Océane and deservedly punted HAC out the cup at the first hurdle. It's the nail in the coffin for this squad. Gmswjambo now only has league games with which to gain DV, so it's time for asset-stripping. The boys had a great run from EuroXtreme VIP into XCL, winning many a league and peaking Seasons 53-55, but now it's the end of the line. Not even Gmswjambo can keep it up forever - just ask the missus - so the one can expect the sales to start soon. Au revoir Elite, but not adieu...    

Heart of Midlothian: A 0-3 win at Accrington Stanley then a 6-0 horsing of Everton means Heart of Midlothian have turned their prospects around with two games to go. The trip to Bath is a must-win for them, so Gmswjambo is preparing for a very tough game. There is potentially a lot at stake for Hearts too, as lose and relegation back firmly in the frame, but win and there's a chance of promotion. All that remains is to give it our best shot and see what happens. After all, with Guildford in the final fixture it's probably the last opportunity to notch up some points. 

Jizzum Jets: Three goalless draws in a row has reulted in fans complaining about the lack of entertainment. Gmswjambo is none too chuffed either, although a point from Rochester Royals and Phanton Ghosts can't be sniffed at. Porto Alegre visit tomorrow and all at the Jizzum are hoping for a bit more potency up front.
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