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Press
Press releases from Xpert International
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Albion Examiner
GFC Feckin Eejit Albion war bloody smoked 0-4 boy Burjacas FC in Roun' T'irteen av Division 5:16 play as needah wee club 'as anyt'ing ter play fer. Bot' clubs ar safe frahm relegayshun an' Burjacas FC war knocked oyt av dah promoshun 'unt t'anks ter a Chinook win o'er Red Bull Kirchhain.
Mos' av dah players ar a' decent DV levels 'cept fer wee Ozzy Bogefeldt 'oo missed nairly an entire mont' av play t'anks ter suff'rin a devastatin' inj'ree in dah fahrst match av dah saysin.
Dah gaffa 'as steered seven players inter DV+5 er beddah an' 'ee 'opes ter maximize dat in dah final match av dah saysin.
In aff-faild news, wee Patrick Maylett appairs as a guest on a wee nashnul radio talk show war yer man comes aycross as 'stremely dim-witted an' dull. Excahrpts frahm dah show ar sane on dah 'tinterwebs an' pepple al' ovah dah wee country ar splitting' dare soydes at 'is dumb-assery. 'Owever, 'ol Paddy is such an eejit dat ee's unaware dat pepple ar avin' a wee cheeky chuckle ah 'im, sah 'is fahrm is unaffected. Ah wee Paddy, yer naw wise.
May dose 'oo love us, love us
An' dose 'oo don' love us
May God tahrn dare 'earts;
An' if 'ee don' tarn dare 'earts
May 'ee tahrn dare ankles
So we'll know dem boy dare limpin'.
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