|
|
|
|
|
 |
| UK's pledges allegiance to Born to Lose |
After a week back in the world of X11 Uk'sNo1 has finally recovered from the shock of just how bad his Xpert Team looks on paper and on the field, yes field. Even Boris Johnson on LSD would not have the balls to call it a pitch.
The lure of extra sponsor money and the chance to meet up with the most desired Lady (HA) in the history of the British press, Sue Palmer prompted UK's to call another press conference.
Most of the assembled journalists were still baffled as to why anyone would be interested in the antics of UK's whose greatest claim to X11 fame was leaving his Xpert team 2 weeks before they won the classic league cup, but as long as their editors paid the expenses no one really cared.
Eyes were raised however when Sue Palmer glided into the room wearing a sleek very revealing red dress on possibly the highest heels ever seen, when I say glide, picture a swan gracefully gliding onto a lakes surface, and picture the way they actually land when they hit the water!
Surely, they were not that big last week; no push-up makes that much difference and the way she was sucking on that lollypop.
.
There were however the odd sports journalists with vague memories of UK'sNo1 back in the glory days with a genuine interest into his plans.
Moe Lester: (The Sun)
"The teams financial situation is pretty poor, we estimate 10 million max to spend and the squad is pretty appalling. Do you intend to actually do anything with them or just sit around waiting for the Job Centre?"
UK's:
"Yes it's appalling and 10 million is a pretty good estimate. The team needs a total rebuild and even then it will take many seasons to develop a has decent squad, which would need another rebuild to actually be anything near to top division sides, 20 seasons most likely."
Moe Lester: (The Sun)
"So will you stick with them and try the impossible or just bide your time?"
UK's:
"I have been away for quite a long time and although the game hasn't changed that much I have forgotten a lot so I certainly won't just bide my time. I intend to try to rebuild them with what I have and make the best of the little available. I will take every match seriously and use my time to learn the game again. I have to wait at least 3 months to use the Job Centre and then there is the question of manager skill! It's obviously at an all-time low now and I will need to raise that significantly if I want to get my hands on a decent team. For the moment I am with Born to Lose (name change coming) and will be for quite some time."
Jack Haas: (Daily Mail)
"Your highest Xpert Ranking was 59. Do you think you will ever make the top 100 again?"
UK's:
"That was a decade ago, Xpert 11 was buzzing at the time and 'The Game' to play. Back in the day there was probably 10 times the number of members as now so in theory it is possible. That said the numbers may have decline but the quality has not. Many of the big names from the past are still around and there are new ones too. I'm here to have fun and catch up on old friends, I will take the game seriously and time will tell."
Sue Palmer: (Playboy International / Horse & Hound)
"I have a double room at the plaza tonight, are you still the same UK's or have you lost your touch?"
UK's:
"That lollypop isn't going to last much longer and I see you are already wearing the famous silk gloves, I guess the only way to find that out Miss Palmer is to put me to the test. I hope you haven't lost your touch!"
The press conference then ended as quickly as it had started, the assembled journalists looked on in envy as UK's roared off down the street with Sue Palmer.
Some things never change.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|