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| Eikels reinstate page 3 |
Go Ahead Eikels have reinstated Page 3 of their match programme after they had appeared to remove it from the previous edition.
The Dutch side’s match programmes have long been renowned for using page 3 to display full-colour hardcore statistics, despite pressure from consumer groups such as Keep It Simple and Don’t Exclude the Plebs. The output has been dubbed "gratuitous", “elitist” and “discrimination against the working classes” by critics.
In the final match of last season, page 3 was completely missing from the match programme, which was widely reported in a local Dutch digital football blog. We spoke to at least one slightly hysterical mother about it:
It’s not normal, what they churn out. My son always gets home and turns straight to page 3, and for the rest of the week he is obsessed with correlation factors and trendlines. It’s not normal! I don’t know why they can’t just show a picture of 2 pretty girls swapping shirts after a game.
But others have defended it, saying
It’s just harmless fun really. Looking at a couple of pie charts every week doesn’t mean you’ll escalate to standard deviations and probability densities. You can get that sort of stuff online already if you want it.
But after some have celebrated the apparent removal of the feature, the public has been shocked by its sudden reappearance – and now all statistics are shown with an extra decimal place. It turns out that its disappearance was merely a publicity stunt or a printing error.
Go Ahead Eikels’ Director of Statistics Dirk Geek had this to say:
This team has a long history of statistics, and we don’t see what is wrong with continuing such a noble tradition. If you don’t like it, don’t read it! But still buy it please, it pays for my salary.
But the final word goes to hysterical Mum:
The very fact that they used the word ‘deviations’ tells you all you need to know.
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2015-01-22 12:41
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Reporter:
Tiggyjosh
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